Astra Zeneca Unveils Nexium Themed Prince Tribute

Purple pill

 

London, England – In a bold marketing move, Astra Zeneca, makers of “The Purple Pill” Nexium, have rolled out an ad campaign/tribute to “The Purple One” – Prince. Director of Marketing, Art Burns, told Code Brown, “We know that 2016 has been a tough year for music lovers. Well, it has been an even tougher year for pharmaceutical companies that make proton pump inhibitors (PPI’s). As a result of studies linking PPI’s to kidney damage and dementia, people are beginning to question the wisdom of taking our medicine every single day for the rest of their lives. Do you know what that means for our executives’ multi-million dollar year end bonuses? It’s not good! It’s so bad, Prilosec OTC had to let Larry the Cable Guy go. He doesn’t just look homeless now, he actually is homeless. We needed a bold campaign to recoup our market share, and what better way than to capitalize on the passing of a global musical icon?”

The two pronged ad campaign will kick off with a social media meme blitz across Facebook and Instagram that Prince would have surely shut down had he still been alive:

prince meme

The second phase of the campaign will feature the new Nexium theme song: “Purple Pill”. Burns explained, “The reason we charge ridiculously high prices for a pill that costs pennies in the rest of the world is pretty simple: We need a massive marketing budget to allow us to buy the rights to “Purple Rain”, hire Taylor Swift, Bruno Mars, and Dr. Luke (who it turns out is not actually a doctor) to rewrite the lyrics, and then use the song in a 30 second commercial to subconsciously convince your doctor to write for Nexium. Check it out!”

I never meant to cause you any reflux
I never meant to cause you any pain
I only wanted one time to see you eating
I only wanted to see you
Taking the purple pill

Purple pill, purple pill
Purple pill, purple pill
Purple pill, purple pill
I only wanted to see you
Taking the purple pill

I never wanted to be your H2 blocker
I only wanted to be some kind of chronic med
Baby, I could never cause dementia or kidney disease
It’s such a shame our prescription had to end
Purple pill, purple pill
Purple pill, purple pill
Purple pill, purple pill
I only wanted to see you
Taking the purple pill

Honey, I know, I know
I know PPI’s are changing
It’s time we all reach out
For something new, that means you can take two

You say you got a GI bleed
But you can’t seem to keep up your BP
I think you better scope it
And let me guide you to the purple pill

Purple pill, purple pill
Purple pill, purple pill
If you know what I’m singing about up here
C’mon, open your hand
Purple pill, purple pill
I only want to see you
Only want to see you
Taking the purple pill

So far, the ad campaign has been described by media critics as “shameless, money grubbing, and totally inappropriate. Basically, a perfect direct to consumer pharmaceutical ad”. Not to be outdone, the makers of Percocet are hard at work crafting an apology ad for probably killing Prince.

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