Do I Have a Disease?

Just because a pharmaceutical company commercial calls something a disease or makes up an acronym, does that really make it a disease or are they just trying to sell you a drug?

Code Brown conducted an in depth investigation and here’s what we found. The results may shock you:

“OAB”

OAB

  • Full name: Over Active Bladder
  • Treatment: Myrbetriq
  • Or, you could: Not drink a six pack of beer before noon every day  
  • Mascot: A bladder that drags you to the bathroom with its ureters
  • Code Brown says: NOT a disease

“Low T”

low-t-testosterone

  • Full name: Low Testosterone
  • Treatment: Testosterone
  • Or, you could: Put down the penis. You’re 80. It’s not happening, Romeo.
  • Poster child: Hugh Hefner
  • Code Brown says: NOT a disease

“BED”

  • Full name: Binge Eating Disorder
  • Treatment – Psychotherapy, Vyvanse
  • Or, you could: Step away from the cake. Stop eating your emotions.
  • Poster child: Oprah
  • Code Brown says: NOT a disease

“NON-24”

  • Full name: Circadian Rhythm Disorder
  • Treatment: Hetlioz
  • Or, you could: Yeah, this is real.
  • Poster child: The person in that commercial who says, “I. am. completely blind.”
  • Code Brown says: Only Donald Trump would try to make a joke here.

“NWA”

nwa-640x360

  • Full name: We’re not allowed to say it.
  • Treatment: Medical grade marijuana, AKA “The Chronic”
  • Or, you could: Go see Straight Outta Compton. Or The Barbershop Trilogy.
  • Poster child: Dre, Ice Cube, Eazy-E
  • Code Brown says: Will defer to the judgement of our esteemed colleague, Dr. Dre.

“OIC”

talking-1

  • Full name: Opioid Induced Constipation
  • Treatment: Movantik, Relistor
  • Or, you could: Stop taking narcotics for your back pain and go do some yoga
  • Poster child: Rush Limbaugh
  • Code Brown says: This is a drug side effect, NOT a disease

“IBS-D”

xifaxan

  • Full name: Diarrhea Predominant Irritable Bowel Syndrome
  • Treatment: Xifaxan
  • Or, you could: See a psychiatrist and get a grip. Your labs and endoscopy are normal. You’re not dying of cancer because you have diarrhea every time you eat at Chipotle.
  • Mascot: That creepy intestinal puppet that gave you nightmares after the Super Bowl
  • Code Brown says: REAL disease (What? i’m a gastroenterologist. This is 90% of my practice. I’ve got med school loans to pay!)
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